If your child has ADHD, your partner is more likely to have ADHD.
If you discover you have adult ADHD, chances are you’ve suffered over the years due to the unrecognized problem. You may feel like you’ve been struggling to keep your head above water, overwhelmed by the constant stress caused by procrastination, disorganization, and handling demands at the last minute. People may have labeled you “lazy,” “irresponsible,” or “stupid” because of your forgetfulness or difficulty completing specific tasks, and you may have begun to think of yourself in these negative terms as well.
ADHD that is undiagnosed and untreated can have wide-reaching effects and cause problems in virtually every area of your life.
Physical and mental health problems. The symptoms of ADHD can contribute to a variety of health problems, including compulsive eating, substance abuse, anxiety, chronic stress and tension, and low self-esteem. You may also run into trouble due to neglecting important check-ups, skipping doctor appointments, ignoring medical instructions, and forgetting to take vital medications.
Work and financial difficulties. Adults with ADHD often experience career difficulties and feel a strong sense of underachievement. You may have trouble keeping a job, following corporate rules, meeting deadlines, and sticking to a 9-to-5 routine. Managing finances may also pose a problem: you may struggle with unpaid bills, lost paperwork, late fees, or debt due to impulsive spending.
Relationship problems. The symptoms of ADHD can put a strain on your work, love, and family relationships. You may be fed up with nagging from loved ones to tidy up, listen more closely, or get organized. On the other hand, those close to you may feel hurt and resentful over your perceived “irresponsibility” or “insensitivity.”
The difficulties you’ve experienced stem from attention deficit disorder—they are not a result of personal weakness or a character flaw. The wide-reaching effects of ADHD can lead to embarrassment, frustration, hopelessness, disappointment, and loss of confidence. You may feel like you’ll never be able to get your life under control or fulfill your potential. That’s why diagnosing adult ADHD can be an enormous source of relief and hope. It helps you understand what you’re up against for the first time and realize that you’re not to blame.
Adult ADHD doesn’t have to hold you back.
When you have ADHD, it’s easy to end up thinking that there’s something wrong with you. But it’s okay to be different. ADHD isn’t an indicator of intelligence or capability. You may experience more difficulty in certain areas, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find your niche and achieve success. The key is to discover your strengths and capitalize on them.
Figure out your strengths and set up your environment in a way that supports them. It can be helpful to think about attention deficit disorder as a collection of positive and negative traits—just like any other set of qualities you might possess. Along with the impulsivity and disorganization of ADHD, for example, often come incredible creativity, passion, energy, out-of-the-box thinking, and a constant flow of original ideas.
Self-help for adult ADHD
With an understanding of ADHD’s challenges and the help of structured strategies, you can make fundamental changes in your life. Many adults with attention deficit disorder have found meaningful ways to manage their symptoms, take advantage of their gifts, and lead productive and satisfying lives. You don’t necessarily need outside intervention—at least not right away. There is a lot you can do to help yourself and get your symptoms under control.
Exercise and eat healthfully. Exercise vigorously and regularly—it helps positively work off excess energy and aggression while soothing and calming the body. Eat various healthy foods and limit sugary foods to mood swings.
Get plenty of sleep. Support yourself by turning off screens at least one hour before bed and getting between 7-9 hours of sleep every night. When you’re tired, it’s even more challenging to focus, manage stress, stay productive, and keep on top of your responsibilities.
Practice better time management. Set deadlines for everything, even for seemingly small tasks. Use timers and alarms to stay on track. Take breaks at regular intervals. Avoid piles of paperwork or procrastination by dealing with each item as it comes in. Prioritize time-sensitive tasks and write every assignment, message, or essential thought.
Work on your relationships. Schedule activities with friends and keep your engagements. Stay vigilant in conversation and online communication: listen when others are speaking and try not to speak (or text or email) too quickly yourself. Cultivate relationships with sympathetic people and understand your struggles with ADHD.
Create a supportive work environment. Make frequent use of lists, color-coding, reminders, notes-to-self, rituals, and files. If possible, choose work that motivates and interests you. Notice how and when you work best and apply these conditions to your working environment as best you can. It can help to team up with less creative, more organized people—a partnership that can be mutually beneficial.
Practice mindfulness. While challenging for some people with ADHD to even contemplate, regular mindfulness meditation can help you calm your busy mind and gain more control over your emotions. Try meditating for a short period and increase the time as you become more comfortable with the process.
Blame the ADHD, not yourself. Adults diagnosed with ADHD often blame themselves for their problems or view themselves negatively. This can lead to self-esteem issues, anxiety, or depression. But it’s not your fault that you have ADHD, and while you can’t control how you’re wired, you can take steps to compensate for your weaknesses and learn to flourish in all areas of your life.
When to seek outside help for adult ADHD
If the symptoms of ADHD are still getting in the way of your life, despite self-help efforts to manage them, it may be time to seek outside support. Adults with ADHD can benefit from several treatments, including behavioral coaching, individual therapy, self-help groups, vocational counseling, educational assistance, and medication.
Treatment for adults with attention deficit disorder, like kids, should involve a team of professionals, along with the person’s family members and spouse.
Professionals trained in ADHD can help you control impulsive behaviors, manage your time and money, get and stay organized, boost productivity at home and work, manage stress and anger, and communicate more clearly.
